Joey’s Gym Class

Sometimes we make way too much out of nutrition and what to eat, for the majority of people the solution is really, really simple.

This is a short excerpt from an article written by the highly insightful Mike Boyle out of Boston -

‘Nuff said.

*****

I used to think I knew something about nutrition. Now I just think most people eat way too much. In particular, they eat way too many carbs. Even more particular, they eat way too much bread. How’s the following for my nutrition book?

Working title: Eat Less: Mike Boyle’s Nutrition Bible.

Page 1- Don’t eat so much and you won’t get so fat.

Page 2- Avoid carbs. Particularly avoid excess carbs like bread, muffins, donuts, and bagels.

Page 3- Eat more protein.

The end.

— Mike Boyle, 15 Things I Thought I Knew

Stay Strong,

Joey

***Warning - This Post Contains Some Hate***

Before I begin - this post is a little lengthy so - should you skim this, this is what you will find -

1. Funny story about my cousin
2. I spew some hate on Tracy Anderson, and why.
3. The Get It Together Project - a workout program to start getting in shape from home!

. . . so without further adieu -

This post was motivated by my lovely cousin who doesn’t belong to a gym, and is better served by working out at home. Which is fine, but she needs some guidance as to what to do from the house! She jumps rope regularly, which is GREAT!

**FYI - Jumping Rope for fifteen minutes burns more calories than running for 30 minutes!**

She decided to “believe the hype” and attempt a workout by none other than Tracy Anderson. In case you have been living under a rock, Tracy Anderson has been touting her methods for training both Madonna and Gwenyth Paltrow as new methods that are intended to build the fantastic bodies that these actresses possess. (In all reality, both Madonna and Gwenneth Paltrow had great bodies to start with!)

Tracy says women shouldn’t lift more than 3lb weights - really?

Tracy says women should do 100s of reps of exericses to hit “deep muscles” - Really?

Most women are confused enough as it is! . . . Why Tracy . . . why?

Below are a couple of quotes from professionals in the industry regarding Tracy Andersons methods -

“There’s a certain celebrity trainer (Spoiler Alert: Tracy Anderson) who in her evil scheme to populate this world with an army of Skeletor look-a-likes, thinks that no woman should ever lift a weight over three lbs.

If you don’t believe me, click the link below for the full story which includes a video clip of said atrocity.

Tracy Anderson Is the Exercise Genius of Our Time

I love how Gwyneth Paltrow (whom Tracy trains) mentions in the story that “I work freakin hard.” Hard in this sense means training in an 80 degree room using AIR as resistance. No, I am not kidding. I can only imagine how brutal the workout gets once Tracy busts out the paperclips.”  - Tony Gentilcore

“In a recent article in People magazine, here are some of Anderson’s brilliant training tips for women.

When you reach your 20’s:

According to Anderson your hips and thighs start to change and you can shape them with some truly challenging exercises. Plies for 80-100 reps and the brilliant and difficult butt pulse for another 80-100 reps. Wow, what genius. What a caloric burn this must be causing.

This “trainer” is a bullshit scam artist. She has absolutely no understanding of human anatomy, physiology or biomechanics. She is not making people healthier. Her clients get thin because she puts them on sub 1,000 calorie diets. This is not a recipe for glowing health. It really pisses me off how shit like this is perpetually recommended to women who actually need real help.”

- Brian St. Pierre

Okay enough about her!

On to the workout!

I give my clients plenty of drills to perform that can be done from home. The drills I am about to illustrate are intended to -

• Promote better posture - (No more hunchback!)
• Reduce aches and pains through enhanced mobility in your joints (AKA less ouchies!)
• Help keep you in shape without breaking the bank -  (Thats always a plus!)
• Keep you injury free - (This is great too!)
• Keep you strong and ready for anything life can throw at you!

First things first, most people need more joint mobility work, straight up. Most people are out of touch with their bones and joints, and only notice them when they ache.

You can perform certain movements that help increase the integrity of your joints by helping you move them better. Better joint integrity means you can reach into the backseat of your car without having to call a chiropractor for overextending your arm!

The program outlined below is what I use to help put people back together again. Get rid of their aches and pains, and help them achieve a higher quality of life. Once these exercises are mastered, its on to some serious strength training.

The Get It Together Project -

Exercises I HIGHLY suggest:

**Mind you, all of my programs are highly individualized, but these movements will help correct the imbalances that I typically see on 90% of the people who come to see me.**

Scapular Push Up

Wall Slides

Single Leg Hip Lift

Straight Leg Hip Extension -This is a new one I got from Coach Nick Tumminello - Excellent excellent exercise for working your backside. If you cannot elevate your leg off the floor (which most people cannot do) Then simply touch the toes and knee of the straightened leg to the ground and raise JUST the knee.

Bird dogs

Fire Hydrants

Once these exercises are mastered and feel good, continue to do them, they will keep your body in balance, especially if you sit in front of a computer for work most of the day.

The Program -

• Perform each exercise for 2-3 sets of 6-12 reps.

Spend anywhere from about 5-15 minutes a day with these exercises, and do them at least 3-4 days a week. You will feel a difference in your strength, movement, and posture after the first week.

You can do them in the morning, or even at the gym as a warm up. Its up to you.

Let me know what happens!

Stay strong,

Joey

I know I have been neglecting my blog here, people are starting to get on me for not writing! (Thanks for giving me a kick in the a$$!) Im back, there will be some more posts coming up this week

In the meantime- check this out from a recent article I came across on Yahoo -

Tsutomo Tosaka didn’t start training until he was in his 40’s and today is winning masters bodybuilding championships. His most recent win at the Japanese National Championships made international news this week. The Masters division of bodybuilding is usually for 40 and over, this guy is the Grand Master!

Grand Master

After watching this, don’t ever tell me you are to old to start training!

74-Year Old With Better Abs Than YOU!!!

This guy is SERIOUS! I would love to look like that at 74! I want the vitamins he’s taking!

Stay strong,

Joey

I went food shopping the other day, and noticed all the crap that people buy. The majority of the time peoples bodies are a direct reflection of what is in their shopping cart. So, do me a favor and start scanning your cart!

This lady in the line in front of me, who was VERY over weight had a cart full of:

*3 types of Cookies

*Various Breads

*Entammans Products (like they were going out of style!)

*Slim fast shakes (far from healthy…they’re actually loaded with high fructose corn syrup, hydrogenated oils, and a bunch of other chemicals)

*Fat Free Rice Cakes (ok…despite so many people believing these pieces of crap are healthy…they really are nothing but pure refined starch with zero fiber, which basically breaks down immediately into sugar in your body, spiking insulin and promoting fat storage…doesn’t sound so good anymore, huh)

*Canned fruit in syrup (I guess she could do worse here…but still, why not just eat fresh whole fruit which still contains the skins, fiber, active enzymes, etc, instead of resorting to processed, canned fruit that’s been cooked and loaded with syrup)

I see she is trying to lose weight. I am also 100% sure she has “tried everything!” to lose weight, but is seeing no result.

But, you call this food shopping??? You didnt buy any food!

Just goes to show you the miseducation of the typical consumer.

My cart was full of spinach, tomatoes, eggplant, berries, walnuts, zuchinni, squash, various beans, eggs, and a couple of lbs of ground turkey. In the words of Alwyn Cosgrove, I dont say this to impress you, but to impress upon what a healthier lifestyle shopping cart should contain.

So, this brings us to Mr. ROY G. BIV -   I hope you remember 4th grade Earth Science!

Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet. The colors of the rainbow. I have said plenty of times, over and over and over, to eat mostly vegetables to get sexy. Yes, its really that simple.

Another way to look at it is to eat as many different colors of foods as possible - The media always talks about how this vegetable is better than that fruit and so on, but in reality, just eat a variety. It keeps you from being bored, that is very important when it comes to nutrition. Some people just stagnate, and then go back to their old habits from lack of interest.

So here you have it, get it while its HOT! The ROY G. BIV CHEAT SHEET,  feel free to print this out and bring it with you food shopping so you know what to put in the shopping cart so you look like a rock star and not like you are part owner of Nabisco!

THE ROY G. BIV - SUPERMARKET CHEAT SHEET

Red

• Apples
• Cherries
• Watermelon
• Red Bell Pepper
• Radishes
• Guava
• Papaya
• Red Chili Pepper
• Pomogranate
• Raspberries

Orange

• Pumpkin
• Apricots
• Carrots
• Oranges
• Canteloupe
• Sweet Potato
• Peaches
• Tangerines
• Mango
• Kumquat

Yellow

• Pineapple
• Banana
• Corn on the Cob
• Lemons
• Squash
• Plantains
• Yellow Peppers

Green (Oh come on now, you gotta know this one!)

• Spinach
• Broccoli
• Kale
• Romaine Lettuce
• Bok Choi
• Zucchini
• Collard Greens
• Brussel Sprouts
• Asparagus
• Celery
• Cucumber
• Kiwi
• Honeydew Melon
• Lime
• Green Pepper

Blue

• Blueberries

Indigo (Who the hell know what color this is anyway?)

Violet

• Blackberries
• Eggplant
• Plums
• Purple Cabbage
• Purple Onion
• Grapes
• Figs

White (Yes, I know, not an official color of the rainbow, but Im putting it in anyway because I can!)

• Cauliflower
• Onion
• Potato

Just make sure your cart has a variety of colors, and your meals do as well, and you will definitely start to see a change in your body!

Oh, and just because I can -

BOO-YAAAAH!

Stay strong,

Joey

OMG- I almost spit my green tea all over the place when I came across this New York Times article -

For Your Health, Froot Loops *

*(Insert partial gasp and a little vomit here) An excerpt from the article reads - “A new food-labeling campaign called Smart Choices, backed by most of the nation’s largest food manufacturers, is “designed to help shoppers easily identify smarter food and beverage choices.” The green checkmark label that is starting to show up on store shelves will appear on hundreds of packages, including — to the surprise of many nutritionists — sugar-laden cereals like Cocoa Krispies and Froot Loops.

Smart Choice my ASS!

Eileen T. Kennedy, president of the Smart Choices board and the dean of the Friedman School of Nutrition Science and Policy at Tufts University, said the program’s criteria were based on government dietary guidelines and widely accepted nutritional standards. She said the program was also influenced by research into consumer behavior. That research showed that, while shoppers wanted more information, they did not want to hear negative messages or feel their choices were being dictated to them. “The checkmark means the food item is a ‘better for you’ product, as opposed to having an x on it saying ‘Don’t eat this,’ ” Dr. Kennedy said. “Consumers are smart enough to deduce that if it doesn’t have the checkmark, by implication it’s not a ‘better for you’ product. They want to have a choice. They don’t want to be told ‘You must do this.’ ” Dr. Kennedy, who is not paid for her work on the program, defended the products endorsed by the program, including sweet cereals. She said Froot Loops was better than other things parents could choose for their children. “You’re rushing around, you’re trying to think about healthy eating for your kids and you have a choice between a doughnut and a cereal,” Dr. Kennedy said, evoking a hypothetical parent in the supermarket. “So Froot Loops is a better choice.” **** Whaaaaaat THE F**********CK???? With all due respect, I think that Dr. Eileen Kennedy needs to be repeatedly dropped on her head a few times to knock some sense into her. First of all most consumers don’t know SH*T about nutrition, after many years of being lied to and deceived, they are totally and utterly confused as to the reasons they cant lose weight. Nutrition labels are confusing enough as it is, and now the checkmark to say that these foods are okay to eat??? Bad food choices are the main reason for obesity, as I always said the cure is simply that people need to eat REAL FOOD!!! Drop the doughnut, and the damn Froot Loops. After all those years of lying and telling me this is “part of a complete breakfast” (I totally believed you Toucan Sam!) when all it did was make me hungry again 30 minutes later - somebody has to shoot Toucan Sam and flush that stupid Leprechaun down the toilet.

Sorry Buddy!

Pick up an apple and eat some oatmeal, is that so hard??? **** More from the article - Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, an advocacy group, was part of a panel that helped devise the Smart Choices nutritional criteria, until he quit last September. He said the panel was dominated by members of the food industry, which skewed its decisions. “It was paid for by industry and when industry put down its foot and said this is what we’re doing, that was it, end of story,” he said. Dr. Kennedy and Dr. Clark, who were both on the panel, said industry members had not controlled the results. Mr. Jacobson objected to some of the panel’s nutritional decisions. The criteria allow foods to carry the Smart Choices seal if they contain added nutrients, which he said could mask shortcomings in the food. “You could start out with some sawdust, add calcium or Vitamin A and meet the criteria,” Mr. Jacobson said. More foods on the list:

• Despite federal guidelines favoring whole grains, the criteria allow breads made with no whole grains to get the seal if they have added nutrients.
• The program gives the seal to both regular and light mayonnaise, which could lead consumers to think they are both equally healthy.
• Allows frozen meals and packaged sandwiches to have up to 600 milligrams of sodium, a quarter of the recommended daily maximum intake.

“The object of this is to make highly processed foods appear as healthful as unprocessed foods, which they are not,” said Marion Nestle, a nutrition professor at New York University. ****** STOP THE LIES! Know what I think of the Smart Choices Program???

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

These checkmarks belong on apples, avocados, berries, peppers, oranges, carrots, etc. Oh . . . wait, they don’t come in a package! I only hope that most consumers are smart enough NOT to believe what they see. I hope no one comes to me asking if it is okay to eat mayonnaise because of the “Checkmark”on the label“,  I might just have to dropkick them in the neck. Stay strong, Joey

Hey everyone! Im back from my VACAY - Disney Rocks! Below is my first exclusive write up for For The Modern Man Magazine - I generally try to kep my blog content for a general audience, but this particular one is strictly for the boys!

Enjoy!

Now we are winding down to the final days of summer, goes by so fast doesn’t it? Whether it is summer or not, guys are always looking for ways to build a massive chest that will make attract ladies to them like bees to honey. The chest is indicative of dominance, much like gorillas in the jungle, the one with the bigger chest wins. For some reason that has stuck with us despite years of evolution. A strong chest is a sign of power, most men want that sign!

The problem is that most men have no idea how to do this! They follow the advice from Muscle and Fiction and believe that “Hey, I can get HUUUUUGE like these guys if I follow their routine!”

Think again my friend . . . those guys workout for a living, you, on the other hand, are fortunate enough to make it 3 days a week to the gym. Then you spend half the time socializing, and looking at the cardio bunnies!

To keep your chest swollen enough that will make ladies jaws drop, keep in mind two important rules -

• In order to grow, you need frequency. Your chest muscles must be consistently stimulated to keep them growing.
• You must balance out your chest exercises with an equal amount of pulling movements such as seated rows and bent over rows, other wise you will end up looking like the hunchback of Notre Dame . . . needless to say . . . you will lose sexy points.

Well here are a 5 damn good exercises to add to your routine to keep your chest pumped, choose 2-3 per workout ONLY - (these exercises are chosen to add to a full body workout program)

1. Bench Press - Obviously this tops the list! You get maximal stimulation of your pectoral muscle fibers, and you can move more weight, this can be done up to 2x per week,
2. DB Alternating Bench Press - Most men trying to build up their chest sleep on the effects of alternating DB work. It is OKAY to use one arm at a time! Try alternating one press then the other for the prescribed reps below. The time under tension alone will leave your chest blasted!
3.  DB Drop Angle Bench Press - For this you need an adjustable incline bench. Go for reps on a high incline, then switch to a lower incline, and finally rep out on the flat bench. Do this for two more rounds, and then try hold your hands in a clap position in from of you for 30 seconds - OUCH!
4. Dive Bomber Pushup - one of my favorite chest variations for overall flexibility, strength and development. Work up to sets of 15-20. This exercise is frequently used to keep our armed forces in great shape, so why not you? See Video - Dive Bomber Pushup
5. Pushup - ISO - From the top of the pushup position drop down as if you are going to do one pushup, and stay in the bottom position. Start with a 15-30 second hold for 3-5 sets. Eventually work your way up to a 90 second hold, and try not to scream for mommy!

For the Dumbbell exercises, shoot for 6 sets x 4reps, 4 sets x 8 reps, or 3 sets x Max reps
(hitting up to about 20 reps a set) for maximum stimulation - change
your rep scheme every workout.

***DONT FORGET TO BALANCE THESE OUT WITH AN EQUAL NUMBER OF PULLING MOVEMENTS, aka ROWS***

Good Luck!

Stay Strong,

Joey

<In case you didnt hear me - don’t forget to ROW - if you start to resemble the old hunchback, and girls don’t want to hang out with you anymore, then READ THIS AGAIN!>